Jokes!!

In this topic, you can put some jokes that you've heard. I have one:

Peter and George were driving to New York. Theey stop to one woman and they ask:
-Were are you traveling?
-I need to go to New York
-What can you give us?
-Well, i got some nice apples.
-George, would you like apples?
-Nah
-Me either. Sorry, we can't give you a ride. Bye!
Three minutes later, they stop to another woman:
-Were are you traveling?
-I need to go to New York
-What can you give us?
-Well, i got some nice bananas.
-George, would you like bananas?
-Nah
-Me either. Sorry, we can't give you a ride. Bye!
Five minutes later, they stop to third woman:
-Were are you traveling?
-I need to go to New York
-What can you give us?
-Well, i can give you some sex.
-George, would you like sex?
-Nah
-Me either. Sorry, we can't give you a ride. Bye!
Five minutes later, Peter asks George:
-George, do you know what is sex?
-Nah.
-Me either. Let's ask that woman.
The come back to that woman.
-Excuse me, what is sex?
-Well, that is when i took off my panties, and i give to first one, then, to second one.
-George, would you like women panties?
-Nah.
-Me either. Sorry, we can't bring you. Bye!

*Twitches* Uh.....Ew.


Okay here's one I heard from a women on the radio...

Three guys want to take a plane and fly it over a neighborhood. They each have an item. The first man has an apple, the second man has an orange, and the third a bomb. When they board the plane and eventually are over said neighborhood, they each drop their item out a plane window. After that, they decide to land and see what happened to their items.

The three guys walk down the street in the neighborhood where their items supposedly dropped. They come to a boy on the sidewalk crying and holding his head in pain.

"What's wrong?" asked the first man.
"I don't know." cried the boy "All I know is, an apple fell out of the sky and hit me on the head...and it really hurt!"
"I'm sooo sorry" said the first man "That was my fault, forgive me."

That problem taken care of, they move on to the next block and find yet another little boy crying and holding his head on the sidewalk.

"What seems to be the problem?" asked the second man
"I have no clue!" balled the little boy "All I know is, an orange fell out of the sky and hit me on the head and it really hurt!"
"I'm really sorry, I am the one at fault. Please forgive me of my actions." said the second man.

Yet another problem taken care of, the move on yet again to another block and find yet ANOTHER boy...but instead of crying sadly, he is laughing so hard he's crying tears of JOY.

"Why are you laughing?" asked the third man "What's so funny?"
"Oh man! I can't believe it!" laughed the boy "All I know is, I farted and the house behind me blew up!"

And that's all folks XD!

Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine.

Little Boy: Bro, how many people can you marry?
Brother: Eight, stupid. Didn't you hear the priest? 4 richer, 4 poorer...

ONJ Livi! That last one is bad XP!

How do you get a pikachu onto a bus?

You poke-em-on!

...

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lol that one was cute and funny. XD