Random Sayings and Things

Hi everyone! Just felt like postign this, as I can't get on Facebook T-T

19 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
1.) At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2.) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3.) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4.) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'In'.
5.) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6.) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'.
7.) Finish all your sentences with 'In Accordance with the Prophecy'.
8.) Don't use any punctuation.
9.) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10.) Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11.) Specify that your drive-through order is 'To go'.
12.) Sing along at the Opera.
13.) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14.) Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15.) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16.) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17.) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I won! I won!'
18.) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling ’Run for your lives! They're loose!'
19.) Tell your children over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.'


Feel free to add your own quotes, sayings or whatever!!

LOL! I have one or two quotes to add to that list!
20.) When you´re in a restaurant, always scream really loud. That way, the baby on the other table won´t bother you any more.
21.) If you see a dog on the street, say hello to him by smelling its butt.
22.) To tell your neighbors that the volume of the music´s too loud, don´t call the police, call your teacher.

LOL epic!

Natural Highs
1.) Falling in love.
2.) Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3.) A hot shower.
4.) No lines at the supermarket.
5.) A special glance.
6.) Getting mail.
7.) Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8.) Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9.) Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10.) Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11.) Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12.) A bubble bath.
13.) Giggling.
14.) A good conversation.
15.) The beach.
16.) Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17.) Laughing at yourself.
18.) Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you.
19.) Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20.) Running through sprinklers.
21.) Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22.) Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23.) Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS.
25.) Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26.) Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27.) Your first kiss (with the one you love).
28.) Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29.) Playing with a new puppy.
30.) Having someone play with your hair.
31.) Sweet dreams.
32.) Hot chocolate
33.) Road trips with friends.
34.) Swinging on swings
35.) Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36.) Making chocolate chip cookies.
37.) Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38.) Holding hands with someone you care about.
39.) Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40.) Watching the expression on someones face as they open a much desired present from you.
41.) Watching the sunrise.
42.) Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43.) Knowing that somebody misses you.
44.) Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45.) Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Aw...that list´s so kawai!

Did you know I like peanut butter?? O_O I really like peanut butter... no really fricken peanut butter NOM NOM NOM NOM CCCAAAHUUUUUUUUU *swallowed spoon*


*burp*

LMAO Xile!

female come backs
pick up line comebacks, add to it

13+!!


Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

You ever notice on a keyboard, that U and I are together, then underneath it says JK? Ahh, rejection lines. ALSO!!


"Bitchez, you both is pretty." - Lafayette

Oh, Lafayette, so funny.

LOL

'Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?'

"Stupidity killed the cat; curiosity was framed!"- Unknown

"Imagniation...surpasses knowledge, for knowledge contains only the things we know in the universe, and imagination all that there is to know." - Albert Einstein

"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."- Marilyn Monroe

"Just because you understand the mechanics of how something works doesn't make it any less of a miracle, which is just another word for magic." - Bill Compton, True Blood, "Sparks Fly Out"

"Look at this! You can smell the fear comin' off this cernbread!"
- Lafayette, True Blood, "Cold Ground"

XD

'They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you stood there and yelled 'BANG!!' I don't think you'd kill many people.'

'Wise man say forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza.'
Michelangelo

'There is no 'I' in teamwork... but there's 'me'.'

Katniss wrote:

LMAO Xile!

female come backs
pick up line comebacks, add to it

13+!!


Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

LOL


Here are ten reasons why a unicorn should remove those pointy bone things on the top of their heads:

10. You walk through a door way with a low duct-way, perhaps there's a chance you forget you've got a pointy thing on your head? *THWAP* there you are stuck in between the doorway with your horn stuck in the over hanging lip.

9. If you're face to face with a friend and want to NOD in agreement... what do you think is gonna happen to your friends face? SKEWERED!

8. During a lightning storm, what do you think the lightning is going to strike first? THE HORN!!

7. You're riding in a car and come to an abrupt halt, the sudden motion causes you to jolt forward; what do you think caused you to get stuck in the roof after that? THE HORN!!

6. You're in the middle of a big balloon parade and you're the star trampoline jumper; what happens when you're thrown up too hight? *KAAAAPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOSH* there goes the head of the balloon parade.

5. You're taking a shower and decide to look up and let the shower water spritz into your face; what happens when the gentle spritz becomes a raging waterfall? That's right, ya knocked the showerhead off with your d***n horn!

4. You've got a bug problem, a bigger sucker of a fly landed on the very tip of your head. Whaddya do? Your horn is too long and too pointy to reach or touch, it's starts to make it's nest of eggs on top of your head. The culprit? YOUR FREAKIN HORN!!

3. You're running out in an open field! You're free, you're happy, and the wind is blowing past into your mane like an open blow dryer. You smile happily at the pretty birds that chirped way up above you... and looking down one of them spots you. In a heaping chirp of pleasure and joy over seeing you, a REAL unicorn, it swoops down to meet you. You both are so happy, RUNNING UP TO MEET EACH OTHER!! SO HAPPY, SO HAAAAAAPPY!!... *PPPAAAAHHHHH"... and in the end you get a pretty bird ornament on top of your horn. Lucky Unicorn *wink*

2. You decide to strike a heroic pose, you know, the kind of pose the exposes your underbelly and gets that mane of your's flowing like an American flag. But as you do, being on top of a large mountain and a cliff behind you, you suddenly feel a little tipsy. Ignoring that you let out a *NEEIGH!!!* in protest, but end up toppling over the cliff because the elevation caused your horn to freeze and therefore grow heavier.

1. As a favor for your friends, co-workers and even your boss at the business district you work at; you suffer the worst humiliation any unicorn could ever face. The always happy, always cheerful, "you can put anything on top of my horn and come back for it later" snook. This could be your coat, hat, papers or anything you see fit to hang on top of the super horn you've grown to know and love as your worst enemy.


- - - - - - -

If none of these reasons even PROMPT you to remove that horn, I suggest you take another look at your life and see if you had ever even come CLOSE to such a situation as these are.


XD

Wow...I really need to remove my horn. XD

"If life gives you lemons....well, life doesn´t give anything for free so, if life gives you lemons, you kill life and only after that you make lemonade. PS: Life´s really hard to kill" - Me

Going off that one..

"If life gives you lemons, keep them. I mean, hey, free lemons." - Me

Now for some TRUE BLOOD quotes!! *applause, applause*

Bill: "Do you need me? I can meet you at the bar."
Sookie: "I always need you, but you stay there. It will give me something to look forward to."
- Season Two, "Nothin' But the Blood"

"I'm so embarrassed. I'd die if I wasn't already dead!"
- Jessica, Season 2, "Scratches"

Jessica: "Well, who is she? Is she your girlfriend?"
Bill: "YES!"
Jessica: "Is she a vampire?"
Bill: "No."
Jessica: "Ooooo... well do I have to be nice to her?"
Bill: "I'm gonna need you to go upstairs and get cleaned up, remove your make-up, and make yourself presentable. I will not have you looking like a slattern."
Jessica: "A what?"
Bill: "Um, a lady of the evening."
Jessica: "AWESOME!"
- Season 2, "Nothin' But the Blood"

"Did you know your boyfriend hit me over the head with a 52 inch plasma television earlier tonight? Everyone says they're so thin and light, but let me tell you, when wielded properly, they're quite a weapon."
- Lorena, Season 2, "Timebomb"

"Now Jesus and I agree to see other people that doesn't mean we don't still talk from time to time."
- Lafayette, Season 2, "New World In My View"

"Like if a tree falls in the woods, it's still a tree ain't it?"
- Jason, Season 2, "Beyond Here Lies Nothin'"

Nice quotes. I like bloody stuff.
"Change is good except when you´re having a shower" -unknown

Jim:"What was that?"
Karen: "Nothing"
Jim: "Him again? That guy´s always causing trouble"
Karen: *sigh*
Season 1, Living the Life

XD

'There are very few problems that can not be solved without using a large amount of explosives.'

"I couldn't do it. I'm sorry Bobby. This is who I am. This is me."
- Rogue, X-Men 3: The Last Stand

Storm: Maybe it's cause Logan's back in town
Jean: Maybe it is. NOT!
- Deleted Scene, X-Men 2: X-Men United

"Anger and hatred destroyed her. If you don't get rid of yours, it will destroy you too."
- Nightcrawler, X-Men Evolution, "Impact"

"Even you don't believe your excuses..."
- Rogue, X-Men Evolution, "Ascension, Part 3"

"Ya gotta keep on keepin' on, ya gotta keep your head up high..."
- Jojo, "Keep On Keepin' On"

Bill: Sookie. I can not and I will not lose you. For all the ways I have dismayed, offended or failed you.
I swear I will atone. But I´m not sorry. I refuse to apologize for what you have awake in me.
You are my miracle, Sookie. For the first time in 140 years, I felt something, That I thought was lost in me forever.
I Love You.
And for that I should never feel sorry.

Sookie:God damn you, Bill Compton.
I Love You.

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable; like a coma?

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

Lol!

I´m the best, f*** the rest ~ one of my friends

"Death isn't so bad. I died once."
- Elektra Natchios, "Elektra"

"Most people will never get past what they see with their own two eyes."
- Nightcrawler, "X-Men 2: X-Men United"

"She don't seem to know that in this ugly world, someone thinks she's beautiful"
- "Right Here" by Edwin

Double LOL

You can´t do good without pissing off the bad ~ unknown